You know how pretentious people say that fashion is art so you think they’re less shallow? I’m one of those people. But some clothes do actually become art just by being insanely impractical, rather than by virtue of being insanely beautiful.
This look is mainly for people that are paid to stand still and have photos taken of them, but I like to dress as impractically as I possibly can without actually dying (amateur).
This includes ballet tutus for country walks, lace stockings for housework and definitely ridiculously large rings EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE. I always have to take off about four massive sparklers before I can begin typing or I get chronic finger strain. I also tend to come home from gigs with bruised hands from clapping. But that’s OK because I looked good for a bit, smiling bravely through the tears of pain. Or I at least managed eccentric, which is when you look fashionable but not attractive. I’m cool with that.
The world of fashion adores impracticality. Give a fashion editor a dress that you can’t sit down in and is made of paper encrusted with priceless diamonds and they’ll rave about it being ‘THE’ number one look for spring. That’s FASHION darling, embrace it!
Here are some of my favourite examples of the impractical spectacular look:
Ah yes, the metal dress. Useful for church, walking the dog and parent sports days
Extra large sleeves for stylish shoplifting by Gbemi
Watch out for angry swans wanting to know why you’re standing on their mates’ heads
I can only guess that this is Flat Stanley’s girlfriend. OR this is what really happens when you try to iron your clothes with them on your body…
The best way to look skinny is to wear clothes that weigh more than you do. Also useful for weigh-ins. ‘I’ve put on 5 pounds? Oh, it’s my dress. It’s made of 5000 steel rivets.’
Imagine being really fashionable and never being able to sit down no matter how tired you are from lugging your own body weight of metal studs around. Fashion is a tough world where even your clothes are definitely trying to kill you.
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You can find more brilliant examples of ridiculously impractical fashion on the HOWL Women’s Fashion Pinterest board. Ciao for now muchachas.
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